I Remember...: February 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

Facebook

Dear Nollie,

As a recent and most reluctant joiner of Facebook, I thought you'd appreciate the irony of the following scenario:

12:22 p.m. middle-aged woman still in pajamas, bed unmade, teeth unbrushed, tummy grumbling from skipping breakfast, just spent two solid hours on Facebook looking at pictures of all her family (and all their friends that she knows), got there by following a link for a free ebook about organizing housecleaning (complete with charts and schedules) and left undone the exercise, taxes and/or de-junking (couldn't decide which) that were scheduled for the morning

YOUR.WORST.NIGHTMARE!!

And yes.....it's me.

In my defense...I got up before 7 a.m. and read an entire book. Said my prayers, decided to order 20 copies of said book for all children, siblings and select friends, then ordered a wedding gift (that's only 7 weeks late) and decided to quickly check email. The motive was good - I have to check in the morning for info about school. Yesterday's morning check announced that English was canceled for a third time (yes!!!-thank you snow in Pullman, where our instructor lives). That led to a link that led to a link that led to Facebook in order to get the free ebook.

I couldn't help it! When I signed in I saw there were new pictures of Henry and that you'd commented on one. What!? You can comment on pictures???? LOVE IT!!!! LOVE the new pictures!! Again, in my defense, I only sign in every 2-3 months or when Kaw emails that there are new pictures. One picture led to another, which led to another, which led to.....

After channeling Hermione Granger (aka Kaylee) and studying over 10 hours a day for the last 10 days (did I mention it's midterms of my LAST semester of college? Did I mention I'm trying to graduate in 77 days with a certain grade point that shall go unnamed, and that said gradepoint is in peril?) my brain craved light and fun. Give me the marshmellow creme of intellectual pursuits...Facebook.

How can my spirits not be lighter and my face not be smiling after seeing the pictures of my babies and their babies (and the babies of their friends)? I am refreshed!!! I will now go forth and conquer the piles of stuff that have accumulated this semester. Hooray for de-junking! (Sorry taxes and exercise. I'll see you tomorrow)

Love, Mom

P.S. Too funny that you have 68 friends already!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Letters from Dad

Before Skype, before texting, before the general use of cell phones, before unlimited internet access, in the days when email was young & expensive, there were two main ways to keep in touch. You placed a long distance call on a land line and were charged by the minute, or you wrote letters. Almost non-existent anymore, except at Christmas time, letters were the way to share news and love.

John was a great letter writer. He loved words! So it was only natural that when Nanette and then Nollie went away to college he wrote letters. Nollie recently shared the letters he wrote when she first left for school at Utah State University. Rikker & I made the trip to move her in while Dad tended the little girls. He started writing before we were even back.

Nollie's list of fun things to notice in Dad's letters

There are twenty letters & post cards which I'll post two or three at a time. Occasionally I'll comment, but mostly they speak for themselves They are classic Dad. I think they're the last letters he wrote before he died and as such are a precious voice from the past.

Nollie asked if you could all contribute to the blog and I think I know how to do that. For now, though, add any memories as comments. I'll upload the files of the letters to Dropbox and send a link.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Best Valentine's Day Ever!

Happy Birthday Kaylee! It's hard to believe it's been 20 years since you arrived on Valentine's Day, 1991! When you were little you loved watching the Valentine's Day decorations go up because it meant your birthday was near. You'd get so excited for the party at school on your birthday and carefully planned the special treats you'd bring. Of course, as the baby of the family, you were our little sweetheart! You've grown into such a wonderful young woman. I love your ready smile and subtle humor and admire how hard you work at everything you do. You're talented, beautiful and smart. It's a treat to be your mom and your friend and I love your dearly!!! Look at the end for the story of your birth.

June 1991 - Age 4 months

Feb 1992 - First Birthday

Sept 1992 - Age 1 1/2

Sept 1993 - Age 2 1/2
You look just like a little Valentine!

Sept 1995- Age 4 1/2

Sept 1997- Age 6 1/2 - first grade

Sept 1998 - Age 7 1/2 - 2nd grade

Sept 1999 - Age 8 1/2 - 3rd grade

April 2000 - Age 9 - 3rd grade

after donating 12" of hair to Locks of Love

Sept 2000 - Age 9 1/2 - 4th grade

Sept 2001 - Age 10 1/2 - 5th grade

Yours was the only birth we scheduled. I'd been walking around for a couple of weeks dilated to 5 cm with tons of false labor and Dr. DeLeon was headed out of town, so we finally decided to induce labor on Thursday, February 14. We arrived at Kennewick General about 7 a.m. and settled into the new birthing room. Since John's office was right next door, literally two minutes away, and since I had a history of taking a while to get down to business, John decided to see a few patients first and left about 8 a.m.

The nurse and I chatted for a few minutes as the pit started mild contractions. I wasn't even uncomfortable yet when I told her that I kind of felt like I wanted to push. Wise nurse that she was, she ignored the fact that it was way too soon for that and instead took the word of a mother of five. No sooner had she wheeled the deliver equipment in "just in case" that I was absolutely CERTAIN I was ready to push and she started hollering out the door for help. Things moved quickly then as they simultaneously converted the bed into delivery position, firmly told me not to push and frantically looked for Dr. Dockum. They got his office on the phone and were told he was in with a patient and would be over when he finished. It wasn't exactly shouting, but they probably heard me from across the room tell the nurse to tell him to get over here NOW! Three minutes later he breathlessly arrived just in time to help me with your delivery. Dr. DeLeon also ran from her office across the street and barely made it. Time of birth - 9:39 a.m. Shortest, easiest labor ever!

The kids made us promise to let them know as soon as you arrived, so by 10:30ish they were announcing your arrival over the classroom PA systems at Cascade and Amistad, which added some excitement to the Valentine's parties in progress. Nanette and Nollie got notes from the office. By lunchtime John was back in the office, leaving us to get acquainted. We'd talked about the name Kaylee and that fit you perfectly, so the name game hadn't taken long. Knowing you'd likely be our last baby, we decided on Donelle as a middle name, since both you and John had an uncle Don.

John brought everyone over to meet you after school. Bekka and Rikker carefully showed you all their valentines and Kira brought a special one she'd made just for you. You calmly posed for pictures with everyone and didn't seem to mind the crowd. Normally we'd have gone home the next day, but specifically because of the crowd at home, we got an extra day of rest in the hospital and another fun visit. It was hard to find any baby pictures of just you, since everyone wanted to hold you. You had lots of mothering from the sisters, but Nollie became your big sister friend. Nanette, almost 13, was pushing your stroller later that summer and someone asked if you were her daughter, which mortified her. She decided to stick with Kira and Bekka in public from then on. You became the last of the "little girls" and the three of you were best buds and roommates most of your childhood. I can still hear John calling, "Where are my little girls?" as he came in the door at night. After you'd all mobbed him, he went in search of his son and the big girls, for hugs and kisses. You were the perfect ending to our wonderful family!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

...When You Were Born

Happy Birthday, Son! I seems like yesterday that I was crying for joy at your arrival and yet just months ago I cried as I watched you with your own newborn son. Time only deepens the love we have for our children, as we see what wonderful people they become. You have become someone I admire and respect and am so pleased to be related to. What a privilege to be your mom.

I got an idea from Bekka a bit ago, after she asked me about the details of when she was born, that I should tell you each the story of your birth. It was too late to blog her story on her birthday, but I decided that on your next birthday I would tell you each what I remember about your birth. The story is at the end of the blog, but first a few pictures from when you were just a little boy.

Summer 1983

1984 - Age 1

1985 - Age 2 1/2

1986 - Age 3 1/2

1988 - Age 5 1/2 - 1st grade

1989 - Age 6 1/2 - 2nd grade

1990 - Age 7 1/2 - 3rd grade

1991 - Age 8 1/2 - 4th grade

1992 - Age 9 1/2 - 5th grade

Was it really 28 years ago that we headed to Holy Rosary Hospital in Ontario, trying to decide if this was really the day our third child would make its appearance? Hard to tell after three weeks of false labor, but off we went, leaving two big sisters to wonder whether they'd soon have a new sister or a brother. I was only 25, John 29. I read magazines and wondered if anyone remembered I was supposed to be in labor while John talked shop with Dr. Daniels and whoever else wandered through. As one of the doctors who worked there, John knew almost everyone, and it seemed they all wanted to drop by and wish us luck. Sadly, visiting was the only thing going on and by bedtime, Dr. Daniels decided to turn off the pit drip and let me sleep.

We started again the next morning with a higher dose of pit and it finally became apparent that baby #3 was on the way. We were trying the hospital's new birthing chair, so on the way to the delivery room we made guesses about the birth weight. Soon thereafter I found that I'd called it exactly right at 8 pounds even and that we had our first son, born at 11:54 a.m. on February 13, 1983. After tears of joy, multiple exclamations of "It's a boy!" and calls to daughters and parents, we settled back in our room with our newest child.

It turns out you weren't hungry and I was starving, so I ate lunch while John rocked you in the chair nearby. I can still remember that even green jello tastes delicious when you're ravenous. Continuing the tradition of trying to wear off what little hair our babies have with multiple kisses, John cuddled you and wondered what we would call this first (and as it turns out, only) Dockum male of the next generation. As we ate and talked, we tried traditional names, family names, names of friends, and none seemed to fit. I really liked Daniel, but you simply were not Daniel. From our experience with Nanette and Nollie we felt that we had to find the name that fit you. Remember this was years before it became popular, or even easy to know the sex of the child and pick a name before its arrival.

Finally we remembered finding a name we liked while scrolling through genealogy films in the basement of the old church office building in SLC before we even had kids. We still don't know if the Ricker Dockum we found was related to us, but we liked the way it sounded with the Dutch surname Dockum. We chose Nielsen as a middle name as there were no sons to carry on the Danish surname of my grandma. Rikker Nielsen Dockum, because I liked the way it looked written with two k's. We've since found that you have a distant ancestor named Ricker Dockum who shares the same Ricker lineage of an even more distant grandmother and you've visited the Ricker family cemetery in Poland, Maine. You were supposed to be named Rikker.

We joyfully took you home the next day to be welcomed by two older sisters. They not-so-gently loved you, played with you and even taught you to read at age four as you were recruited to play school with them. You learned to be gentle so as not to hurt the girls and continually surprised us with how different boys are than girls. You've shared your room with three younger sisters in turn, did your share of teasing, and later carried on as the head of the house when the situation abruptly presented itself. We have appreciated your humor, your blessings and your example as a husband and dad to your own little family. We love you!

Homesick Grandma

I finally found the SD card with the pictures from the first part of the holiday visits and some earlier visits. It makes me homesick for my babies and their babies!!! I want to skip school and go visit them all right now. I'll smile through my tears as my arms ache to hold those little ones again and instead post pictures of our fun times together.

April